Top 12 Transfers – Are these players better dressed by switching teams?

Transfer season has drawn to a close,  and what an exciting final day it was, (Reactions to players leaving from fans were of anger and failure.) For all the wheelings, dealings, winners and losers, check out BigDub’s latest EPL report. However, today, I am investigating whether these players upgraded their wardrobes in addition to their pay raises. Read on to find out who will be looking better, who will be worse, and who really didn’t change that much.

Ibrahim Affelay, PSV–> Barcelona (Better)

Affelay, the young Dutch midfielder, was the first notable transfer of the winter window, leaving PSV Eindhoven for Catalonian giants Barca. In doing so, you can plainly see that much like the Jefferson’s, he is not only moving to an apartment in the sky, but will be putting on one of the most legendary shirts in world soccer. This is an easy wardrobe upgrade for Affelay, one only wonders, will new sponsor The Qatar Foundation (Who might be connected to funding terrorism) will ruin the Barcelona shirt, but for this season, definitely a step up.

Luis Suarez , Ajax –> Liverpool (Draw)

Andy Carroll, Newcastle United –> Liverpool (Better)

Suarez: One of the Stars in what was otherwise a fairly dull World Cup this past summer. Liverpool finally got their man after a long chase that began back in August. Suarez is leaving one storied club for another but uniforms wise, I would say both are about on par. This is a down year for the home shirts for both sides. Liverpool is breaking in a new sponsor, and Ajax’s are not as good as their 2009-10 home shirts. So this one is a draw.

Carroll: Young Andy Carroll is a mere two years older than myself, however, at his former club Newcastle United, he was touted as the next Alan Shearer (Top EPL Goalscorer of all time for the Soccer Illiterate) and was even given Shearer’s legendary #9 shirt after scoring 24 goals last season. However, he now inherits Ian Rush’s legendary #9 at Liverpool FC, and will be moving to a better shirt too. You all have heard me rip into Puma’s effort with the Newcastle shirts, so for Carroll, this is easily better, as he looks to build his legacy at legendary Anfield.

Fernando Torres, Liverpool –> Chelsea (Worse)

In what was an incredibly exciting deadline day, Fernando Torres made his long awaited exit from LFC to head to Chelsea Retirement Community at Stamford Bridge (he is of age, at 27) Shirts wise, both are a little bit down, Chelsea’s looks a bit odd with the red mark on the back, but an improvement from last year, but Torres will look great in the All black away kit, and I pray he is never forced to wear the horrendous third kit. So actually, Torres is moving from decent dressed Liverpool to poorer dressed Chelsea, making this worse for his wardrobe but better for his wallet. 

Mark Van Bommel, Bayern Munich –> AC Milan (Draw)

This was an odd transfer for Van Bommel, but he will not even qualify to start for AC Milan until he is at least 35 years old, because that is the minimum age requirement at the Milan Crypt. Uni-wise, Van Bommel traded red and white for red and black (both teams have all white away uniforms, and all black third uniforms) so this is a draw as these teams dress too similar to call.

Antonio Cassano, Sampdoria –> AC Milan (Better)

Another signing by Berlusconi and the Rossonieri, unlike new teammate Van Bommel, the hot-headed Cassano is trading in his hideous Sampdoria shirt for the legendary Red and Black stripes of AC. This is easily a big upgrade for Cassano, until next year when he pulls another Terrell Owens and gets himself sold.

Freddie Ljungberg, Chicago Fire –> Celtic (Better)

Freddie Ljungberg wisened up after a few years in MLS and decided to ditch semi-retirement to prove that he still can cut it in European top leagues. His road begins at the Old Firm, Celtic. This is a MEGA upgrade for old Freddie, trading in the Chicago Fire’s bland red for Celtic’s legendary Hoops. An easy improvement, and I hope to see him make his way back into the EPL next season possibly.

Edin Dzeko, Vfl Wolfsburg –> Manchester City (Better)

Bosnian striker Dzeko was the first big name signing of the transfer window, leaving Bundesliga strugglers Wolfsburg for Manchester Federal Credit Union.  I have put up both teams better looking shirts (Wolves’ away is 10x the home this year) and City’s home is timeless. As much as I like both, I’m going to say that Dzeko not only got his payday, but looks much better in Citizen sky blue rather than Wolfsburg’s black and green.

Emmanuel Adebayor, Manchester City –> Real Madrid (on Loan) (Draw)

The money hungry, always unhappy Togolese striker finally made his way “home.” Jose Mourinho and his hatred for Karim Benzema forced him to sign Adebayor on loan after failing to get the much better Didier Drogba. This is actually a tough decision, City’s sky blue versus Los Blancos’ timeless home shirt (which ironically this season has light blue accents.) Both look excellent in my book, but Madrid’s tradition and success trump City’s new found oil money here. At least the man known as “Paymemor” to Arsenal fans is where he belongs, not winning trophies at Madrid.

Steven Pienaar, Everton –> Tottenham Hotspur (Worse)

Pienaar became the second South African signed by Spurs during the window. Doing so, he adds depth to Tottenham’s midfield and gave Everton manager David Moyes the cash he so desperately craved to try and buy a striker to replace Louis Saha (The French Emile Heskey.) Colors wise this is interesting. As much as fans dislike them, I enjoy Everton’s home blues, away pinks and 3rd whites this season. Spurs, I dislike the home, but the sky blue away and navy blue third do not look too bad. However, Everton is 3/3 vs. Spurs 2/3, so I am going to say that Pienaar downgraded. Also, on a sidenote, he ditched Le Coq Sportif for Puma, and from what I have seen for league teams, LCS usually does a better job.

David Bentley, Tottenham Hotspur –> Birmingham City (on Loan) (Better)

David Bentley was in a living hell at Tottenham, so Alex McLeish and Brum were glad to offer him a solution. Birmingham City switched from Umbro to Chinese brand Xtep for this season, and Xtep made some surprisingly good looking kits. As much as I hate Spurs, sometimes they do have good designs, but this year is not that year. So not only does DB11 get the playing time he deserves, but he also gets to look that much better on the pitch doing so.

Michael Bradley, Borussia Monchengladbach –> Aston Villa (on loan) (Better)

This transfer excites me a lot, this is the fourth American to join Villa (Brad Friedel, Eric Lichaj and Brad Guzan being the other three) and he will surely prove himself and hopefully make his stay permanent in the summer. Most importantly, Bradley is ditching Monchengladbach and their ugly Lotto brand kits for Villa’s great design from Nike. This is a clearly a large improvement for Bradley’s career and on field style.


Well there you go, 8 of these men are now better dressed and have fatter wallets, 2 look worse, and 2 are about the same, I am interested to see how all these players will perform the rest of the season at their new clubs. I’ll be back with my Super Bowl article by the end of the week, in the mean time, check out these, a graphic designer created NFL-themed Soccer Jerseys. Until next time — J


Posted on February 1, 2011, in Soccer, Top Lists/Countdowns. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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